Feeling Vulnerable

Tonight, I’m feeling extra vulnerable. I know I have to make myself vulnerable in order to grow. Even still, it hurts when people – those who claim to be friends and those who have never met me go out of their way to attack me. I like to guard my family, my friends and my emotions from harm. So, it doesn’t go down easy when my open arms approach is met by swords and daggers.

As a pageant director, I take a lot of abuse. From many that I have helped and from plenty who have never met me. I don’t know what it says about them but as a human with a heart, I will say that it hurts me. I love being a pageant director and you can ask my husband …….I don’t do it for the money! I love giving women the opportunity to enhance their purpose and expand their reach in their communities, across their state and around the country. I don’t hide behind message boards. I don’t try to take down the competition.

There’s enough room in every state for International, United States, America, Galaxy, All American, Beauties of America, and on and on. So, I hope that we can give all of the directors a break. There’s no need for drama. No need for criticism. We do things different and that’s what separates us – not what makes one better than the other.

I know that by making myself vulnerable to all I have been able to touch a few. That gives me comfort even as I continue to struggle with opening myself up to unwarranted attacks. The next few months will be about prayer and self exploration. Is it worth it? Do I want to continue to put myself and my family through this? Maybe……………